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Chocolate Rambo

Exercise Chocolate Rambo's Castle Doctrine to defend him from the LAPD's advances.


LAPD: These basic officers will slowly walk towards the cabin, pausing to aim or dash for a moment. Armed with machine guns they are inaccurate and easy to kill, but swarm easily. Once they get inside, they can easily kill you one on one. Best railed down will the rifle.

Crawling LAPD: These guys won't stop to shoot, take less damage from explosions and dodge most bullets aimed at them. Once they reach the door, they're just as dangerous, but they move slowly. The pistol wastes less ammo on them.

Riot Shield SWAT: These guys are mostly immune to bullets and explosions from the front and bounce grenades harmlessly. Not only are they hard to bring down, their shotguns can kill you in one blast indoors. They only put down their guard while firing. They are however vulnerable to headshots and can be taken down by a well aimed pistol.

Squad Cars: Each one drops off two officers, half of the time a riot swat. LAPD will duck behind them to exchange fire, the car absorbing most bullets and the ones that go through dealing half damage. Cops behind a car will rush up to it, and riot swat behind one are almost invulnerable. Best brought down with grenades, however its sometimes more beneficial to not take it out- cops are slowed down and clumped for explosives behind it and a new car (with 2 more cops) will replace it in time.

Chopper: Circling around the cabin, it will wind up its cannons and pound you with overwhelming gunfire and rockets if you are visible to it. Occasionally will quickrope a cop onto the roof, so you can't avoid it forever. Too high to hit with grenades, it can be brought down with two rockets or a whole lot of gunfire.


Pistol: Slower and with less ammo than the rifle, the pistol makes up for it by being very accurate, dealing 50% extra damage per bullet and being more prone to headshot. It is far more likely to penetrate a tree or squad car or hit a crawling officer. The best weapon for taking down swat teams with shields, aiming for the head.

Rifle: Its withering rate of fire slices through unarmored cops like a warm knife through butter. Sheer bullet spam makes it effective against vehicles but its inaccuracy and recoil can leave you poking your head out a window too long.

Grenade Launcher:
With 6 shells this minor weapon of mass destruction is best for demolishing squad cars and clumped formations. Its the only gun that can be fired to the ground from the safety of the roof, but its extremely ineffective against swat teams and choppers, and bounces off trees and getting deflected by the snowy breeze can mean not just missing your target, but potentially blowing yourself up. Grenades deal initial explosion damage and emit a ton of shrapnel- in an enclosed space these can turn cops into a chunky salsa, or the same chocolate rambo.

Rocket Launcher: This MANPAD is meant for taking down airborne targets like polive helicopters, but is just as devastating to the ground. You only get one shot between reloads so don't waste it- it's a great last ditch tool against a swarm of advancing LAPD, especially mixed with swat and behind a squad car. But take care, trees can deflect the rocket and shooting yourself is a sure quick trip to gibsville.


The Cabin:
Your castle to defend from the endless legions, the cabin is divided into three color-coded sections and the roof. The four windows and two doors all provide places to fire at incoming assaults, with differing strengths and benefits. The windows offer a modest protection as you lean out to fire and a great deal of resistance to the LAPDs guns as you lean in. The top floor windows have the best vantage for far away targets, but are the furthest from the ammo dump. The middle floor windows are shrouded at tree level- blocking both your bullets and the LAPD's, but put you in a great position to launch grenades or land headshots on cops outside your doors. The doors are bulletproof when closed and are on level with the incoming police to give a clear shot, but give no protection to you at all. Opening the doors against a clump of cops outside is suicide.

Invading officers will open fire whenever they're in the same color-coded are of the cabin as you. Letting them inside at all can quickly spell the end, and exchanging indoors gunfire can leave you dead in the blink of an eye. You can only hide upstairs for so long.

Ammo Dump: At the bottom middle of the cabin, you can infinitely restock your weapons. However, inbetween two doors it puts you right in harms way if a cop bursts in. Try to eliminate all the closest mobs before restocking, because even though you can gun them down right as they burst in, you'll get overwhelmed. When the LAPD tries to burn you out, they will set fire to your ammo dump- stop them at all costs.

Trees: These six frustrating obstacles keep you from having a perfect shot from the windows. They deflect bullets, grenades and rockets, and sway under fire, wind or chopper blades. You can't get rid of them, but you can use them to your advantage. Shoot grenades to hit trees and fall down and you can plant them behind shielded swat- or use a tree to catapult a grenade into the air.

Fire: After some waves of fruitless assaults, the LAPD will fortuitously forget about that silly 'due process' thingy and attempt to burn you out. The first normal LAPD through the doors will make a beeline for your ammo dump, taking a few seconds to set fire to it. Stop him or the whole place burns down! A cop setting a fire can't shoot back, but his fellows can. Once lit, its only a matter of time until you're flushed out onto the roof to your charred, dental-record-identifiable death.

Snow: If you survive 5 minutes of onslaught, a snowstorm breaks out, with random winds whipping the trees, tossing around your grenades and pushing helicopters out of position. As the saying goes, don't spit into the wind; an inopportune grenade can fly right back at you.

Secret Code: Enter the *secret code* on the menu to get straight to the real challenge. Whats the secret code you ask?

Chocolate Rambo

Updated: August 29, 2013 1:25 PM

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Right-click game to play full-screen (if available)

Moving: Use the Arrow Keys or WASD to move along the 8 edges of the cabin. This 8 directional movement may not be intuitive- hold a direction and you'll run to that point from wherever you are. For example, Up goes to the roof, Down to the ammo dump, Left+Up to the left upper story window, Down+Right to the right floor level door.

Shooting: Left click fires wherever you aim. This can be outdoors or indoors. Aiming out a window puts you in greater danger even if you dont shoot; you can lean back in by moving the cursor inside the cabin. Since the LAPD are prone to exchanging gunfire in bursts after aiming for a moment, ducking in and out of the windows can minimize the damage you take.
Changing Weapons: Left click on the symbols at the top of the screen, or press the 1, 2, 3 or 4 keys to swap.

Reloading: When you run through a clip, Chocolate Rambo will load another automatically. Once you run out of clips, grenades or use your rocket, you must restock at the ammo dump. Simply press Down to go there and you'll start refilling. It takes 5 seconds to fully stock all weapons and you can shoot while restocking, but if you move away you'll need to start over.

Surrendering to the Police: At any moment you can end the standoff by peacefully surrendering to the police. Simply walk to one or the two doors, lean out and shout into your computer's microphone that you're coming out with your hands up, and take your hands off your keyboard.

End of FLASH, as we know it! Please Read...

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